Ominous Tuesdays

I tried to run this morning, but the pus spewing wound was too painful. I sat in the hot tub some, reenacted portions of the Battle of Midway in it and stretched.

I went home for lunch and noticed that someone stole my zuchini from the refrigerator or moved it. The following email exchange occurred between my roommate and I:

Matt---Someone stole my zuchini. I'm on to you. I'll find you. I'll track you
down. Don't mess with my zuchini.

I will refrain from putting eggshells in the disposal even though I
feel that if I can quickly chew egg shells up in my mouth a garbage
disposal should be able to do it. That's what tough guys do in their
spare time, they chew eggshells and dress metro.

Gina-- Did you check the drawers in the fridge?...I had to make space when I
bought all of my food for dinner on Saturday night and some things may
have been stuffed in random places. Sorry about that...I know that boys
aren't the best at finding things, so I'd be happy to dig around there
for you when I get home if you'd like :)

Matt--No I didn't check anywhere. In fact, I could care less about the
zuchini. I just noticed that it was previously co-located with my red
bell pepper, both of which I bought on some sort of lark that I needed
to eat more vegetables and then quickly decided once I got home that
that would be a waste of time. The zuchini and bell pepper are now
separated. I only used it as an excuse to make ominous threats, which
I feel compelled to do on some Tuesdays.

"Hey Matt, you wanna go see this movie with us tonight?"

"Oh YOU'LL be sorry about that!"

"What?" they ask with quizzical expressions.

"OH YEAH! You what me again and we'll see.........."